Inward Appearance

I've been thinking a lot about the inward appearance of a woman. Often times we get caught up in legalism and performance, and forget that which is most valuable and eternal to God.

What are you wearing today? Is it anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, gossip, rebellion, or hate?

While you put on your pretty dress, is there resentment disfiguring your body? As you line your lips with gloss, does your mouth dabble in curses and gossip? Your hand automatically covers your eye with shadow to bring out those beautiful baby blues, but what are those baby blues coveting?

Look in the mirror today, but instead of your usual morning routine cry out to God and ask Him to give you that which is most precious in His sight - a gentle and quiet spirit.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

I Peter 3:3-4





This encouraging post is by Jasmine of Far Above Rubies~
Thanks so much for sharing!





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If you are looking resources to help you with the above, you might want to consider the Godly Woman's Adornment Collection-a four  book set or Putting On a Gentle And Quiet Spirit: 1 Peter (A Woman After God's Own Heart).

When We Fail

Oh dear mothers-----we certainly have our days, don't we?

We wake up, we have our grand plans and as soon as we step out of our beds the day seems to spiral out of control.

The children aren't being good, the house needs cleaning and our mood switched from Proverbs 31 to the grumpy, grumbling mother in 10 seconds flat.

Or maybe you have prayed for patience. Yes, you prayed. Maybe that you wouldn't get mad at the children, or that  you would respond gently and that only lasted up until the latest sibling outbreak in your home. Then you asked yourself  "What happened, Lord? Didn't I pray and ask for help in this area?'

Mothers, don't be discouraged. The Lord IS working powerfully in your life. He is allowing you to see  your weakness and in that weakness His power is being perfected. (2 Corinthian 12:9)

I remember as a young mother, when I would fail and just feeling like running away. I believed my failings would influence my children and tarnish them for life----wouldn't they be better off without me?

What a lie! Satan was trying to drive me from my home---the very place I belonged.

Without me, this home would have fallen apart and as a young mom I was naive and gullible in even entertaining these false ideas for even a second. Thankfully, the Lord was with me and strengthened and encouraged my frame. He was my help and my deliverer and focused me to see clearly through the hazy thoughts, pressure from the outside and the lies that threatened to tear down my home.

So if  you are going through these things, dear mothers, know that you are not alone.

Know that you are not the only one who has felt that way--mothers everywhere have gone through this and more.

Know that God is right beside you gently guiding you through the wretched crooked paths and bringing you home.

Trust in Him,and not yourself, and let Him lead the way.

Don't give up--there is too much at stake--generations will be affected for the decisions you make today.

And continue to PERSEVERE because you know that this is His MIGHTY WORK He has laid out for you

and that He will be glorified through it as you faithfully lay your life down at His feet.

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Please know that He cares for you and loves you:

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: 

He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; 

he gently leads those that have young."

-Isaiah 40:11



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Characteristics of a Meek and Quiet Spirit

I found this wonderful list~ Characteristics of a Meek and Quiet Spirit, over at Revive Our Hearts, a ministry of Nancy Leigh Demoss:

Meekness is calm confidence, settled assurance, and rest of the soul. It is the tranquil stillness of a heart that is at rest in Christ. It is the place of peace. Meekness springs from a heart of humility, radiating the fragrance of Christ.

 

The meek will be at rest in the storms of life …
(Matthew 11:28–30; Psalm 37:7; Hebrews 4:1–11)

The fretful will be fearful in the storms of life …
(Mark 4:35–41; Jeremiah 50:6)

 

The meek will react to circumstances with peaceful trust …
(Isaiah 26:3–4)
The fretful will attempt to manipulate individuals or circumstances …
(James 4:1–3; Proverbs 7:21)

 

The meek will make life choices based on Scriptural principles …
(Psalm 119:105)
The fretful will make life choices based on emotions or fleeting passions of the moment …
(James 3:13–18; Proverbs 19:16)
 
The meek woman’s confidence is in the security of the truths of Scripture and the faithfulness of God …
(Proverbs 3:26, 14:26; Psalm 119:165; Jeremiah 17:7–8)
The fretful woman’s trust is in her own abilities and power to control others and details …
(Proverbs 12:15, 14:12, 16:25; Jeremiah 18:12)
 

“Meekness is the silent submission of the soul to the 'providence' of God concerning us.”
—Matthew Henry

The meek woman finds her worth and value in knowing who she is in Christ …
(Ephesians 1:3–8)
The fretful woman finds her worth and value in her own accomplishments and what others think of her …
(Psalm 49:11–20; Proverbs 11:28, 16:18–19, 29:25)

The meek woman finds her strength of character in Christ …
(Ephesians 5:8–11)
The fretful woman finds her strength of character in her own personality traits …
(Proverbs 28:26)

 

Meekness restrains the stormy tempest of our emotions and passions by commanding them“peace be still” …
(Proverbs 16:32)
Fretting fuels the stormy tempest by venting passions and emotions …
(Psalm 37:8; Proverbs 14:29–30, 29:11, 22)
 
Meekness is the strength and courage to battle and overcome our own sinful anger and passions, by holding fast to peace—through trusting in the providence of Almighty God …
(Romans 12:18–19; Colossians 3:1–17; 1 Peter 4:19)
The fretful woman is too fearful and weak to trust God,but allows her sinful emotions and passions to rule …
(Proverbs 28:25)

“The work and office of meekness is to enable us to govern our own anger when at anytime we are provoked, and patiently bear out the anger of others that it may not be a provocation to us.”
—Matthew Henry

Meekness is constancy and steady composure in spirit and frame of mind, reflecting the consistent stability of our Lord, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
(Psalm 102:25–27; Ephesians 4:13–15; 1 Peter 3:13–16; Hebrews 13:8)
The fretful woman is always on a roller-coaster ride of emotions, continually up and down …the only thing consistent about her is that you never know what mood to expect.
(Proverbs 21:9, 19, 25:24)

Meekness does not allow the mind to run away with vain imaginations and to dwell on thoughts which inflame volatile emotions and passions …
(2 Corinthians 10:3–5; Philippians 4:8–9)
The rash woman is filled with suspicions, doubts, and assumptions based entirely on emotion, and allows these imaginations to determine the course of action …
(3 John 9–10)

The meek woman does not avoid or run from controversy, but walks through necessary confrontations under the control of the Holy Spirit …
(Galatians 6:1–2; Proverbs 27:5)
The rash woman enters controversy hastily and recklessly …
(Proverbs 10:19, 13:3, 14:16–17, 29:20)

The meek woman is at peace because she is master over her passions …
(Proverbs 17:27, 25:28, 29:11)
The rash woman is fretful because she is mastered by her passions …
(Psalm 37:1–8; Romans 6:16; James 1:14–17) 

Read the rest here.

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Quiet Your Heart Before The Lord

Be Still.

And Listen.

And Quiet your heart before the Lord today.

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The Gentle Mother

I love art that displays a mother being gentle with her children, beautiful motherhood touches lives around us in powerful ways and the influence runs deep.

I am always so inspired by gentle mothers that I see around me. Their gentle voices, their unnerving patience---all traits I so desire to greatly cultivate in myself. If we are to "love our children" the world around us should be able to validate Gods Word as true by being around us and seeing that our interaction with our children affirms that.

"Let your gentleness be evident to all." Phillipians 4:5

If we are to raise sons and daughters that will also love their children, it is imperative that it is modeled it for them. How many times have your caught yourself raising your voice to your children and have found them doing or saying exactly what you were doing later that day? They mimic all that we do, so from the minute we awake we must practice what I call 'purposeful parenting'. Everything we do they are absorbing and taking in like sponges. Our responsibility is to teach them to have self command and learn to heed the Word of God.



This is why I love watching 19 Children and Counting. Michelle and Jim Bob do their best to be patient with all of their 19 blessings when some of us struggle with just two!!! What a testimony and ministry they have given the world many times over of how the Lord can be central and His words active and true. I believe the Lord blesses them immensely because of their willingness to obey. Here is a clip of Michelle, who is ever so patient with all of her children--especially during her pregnancies and hardships---accepting the Mother of the Year award by Vision Forum. I know this has been circulating but still wanted to post this for others who haven't had a chance to see it. Her sweetness is a powerful reminder to all of us moms to emulate the meekness of Jesus and how it is beautiful is God's eye and to those who are watching:

Gentleness of Voice

It’s not so much what you say

As the manner in which you say it;

It’s not so much the language you use

As the tone in which you convey it;

“Come here!” I sharply said,

And the child cowered and wept.

“Come here,” I said-

He looked and smiled

And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair

And the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft as the summer air

But the tone may break my heart;

For words come from the mind

Grow by study and art-

But tone leaps from the inner self

Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,

Whether you are mean or care,

Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,

Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid

And peace and love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words-

Keep it out of your voice.

Author Unknown

Article posted by Miss Jocelyn @ Training Daughters, Teaching Wives

Her Gentleness

Then her gentleness is another part of her qualification for duty. She should have, must have, really has, influence and power of impulsion, if not compulsion. Were she utterly powerless , she could do nothing. Her influence, however, is a kind of passive power; it is the power that draws rather than drives, and commands by obeying.

Her gentleness makes her strong.

How winning are her smiles, how melting her tears, how insinuating her words.
Woman loses her power when she parts from her gentleness.
It is this very yielding, like the bulrush
lifting its head after the rush of water which it has bowed,
that gives her a power to rise superior to the force of circumstances which,
if resistance were offered, would break all before them.

She vanquishes by submission.

How necessary gentleness is to the fulfillment of her mission
in handling the young and tender spirits of her children,
in training the first delicate shoots of their infant dispositions,
and for directing the feelings of that one heart on which she depends for her happiness.

There are many varieties of disposition in women,
which may make them sensitive, petulant, irritable, jealous, quick to feel and to resent;
but not withstanding all this, and under all this,
there is a gentleness of disposition
which indicates this vocation
as destined to influence and constrain by love.







-John Angell James, Female Piety




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A Hasty Heart

Do you ever find yourself running from one task to the next?

Are you constantly telling your children to 'hurry up'?

Do you find yourself motivated to check off everything on your to do list at the expense of yourself and others?

Do you get easily angered with those around you such as your husband or children because they are not moving as fast as you'd like?

"God's not impressed with hastiness. He says in Proverbs, "The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want" (21:5). And, "Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him" (29:20). And once more, "He that hasteth with his feet sinneth" (19:20)

We live in a fast-paced world. If you don't want to lose what you have, if you don't want to be a fool, and if you don't want to live in sin, it's important to learn the difference between haste and speed.

You'll know when you are being hasty if you stop for a moment and check yourself with a few questions: Do you sense a tension in your stomach? Are you trying to accomplish more than time allows? Are you in such a hurry that you are making foolish mistakes?...If these are your experiences, you can be sure that your actions will not lead to abundance. Instead, you'll make foolish decisions and miss a peaceful walk with God.

Hasty people miss God because God is never in a hurry. He doesn't change His pace to walk with people. He requires people to change their pace to walk with Him. A man rushing through life, running over everything and everyone that gets in his way, will not hear the voice of God. His hurried efforts create too much chaos for him to enjoy God's presence."

-Bob Shultz, Created for Work

Our hastiness will drive out the love in the work we were called to do in Titus 2--loving our husbands and loving our children. This is not what the Lord intended for us---we must discipline ourselves to slow down, enjoying the moments with our precious family and not taking time with them for granted. The to-do list will always be around, even after they are gone. This does not mean that we are to be lazy or sluggish in our work , the Lord does not advocate that either and clearly defines such foolishness as sin. It is good to be diligent workers but not exchanging what is meant to be best for less. We are to not have a hasty heart, because at the root of this hasty heart we will only find sin---pride, selfishness, putting ourselves first, etc. which will develop into more sin---anger, resentment, bitterness and so forth.

So, ladies, let us discipline ourselves today to slow down and have a still heart that hears God's voice and not missing the blessing He pours upon our homes and lives.

Lowly Gentleness

The gentle and quiet spirit described in 1 Peter is something God puts a high value on. It is a spirit that is at peace, is resting in God, is calm.

What causes a woman to lose her gentle spirit?

Many things can interfere with gentleness. But if a woman is not gentle, she may be (or probably is) frazzled, harried, anxious, distracted, bitter, or nagging. A gentle wife is like a tame animal, easily approached, not jumpy or skittish, like an animal in the wild. When her husband comes to her, he is received with affection and finds nourishment and comfort. Her children also can expect to be received with gladness. But if the family has to walk on eggs around Mom, she most likely does not have the gentleness described here. If she is unpredictable, touchy, easily irritated, accusative, or fussy, she does not have a gentle spirit. Lowliness and gentleness go together, so the way to gentleness is to be humble. Jesus is lowly in heart and we find rest for our souls in Him. Husbands and children should be able to find rest for their souls (in a limited way of course) in wife/mom.


And the only way for wives/mothers to be this kind of resource
is to be filled themselves
with the gentleness
of Christ.

-Nancy Wilson @ Femina







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Quiet and Still

I'd like to ask a question...




Is your heart quiet and still before the Lord today?

Meek and Humble?

Women are called to be meek and humble -- gentle and quiet.

So opposite of the examples of the daughters of Zion in Isaiah's day (verse 3:16-26) :

"...Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with outstretched necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, making a jingling with their feet, Therefore the Lord will strike with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will uncover their secret parts.'

In that day the Lord will take away the finery: the jingling anklets, the scarves, and the crescents; The pendants, the bracelets, and the veils; The headdresses, the leg ornaments, and the headbands; the perfume boxes, the charms, and the rings; the nose jewels, the festal apparel, and the mantles; the outer garments, the purses, and the mirrors; the fine linen, the turbans, and the robes.

And so it shall be: instead of a sweet smell there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-set hair, baldness; instead of a rich robe, a girding of sackcloth; and branding instead of beauty. Your men shall fall by the sword, and your mighty in the war. Her gates shall lament and mourn, and she being desolate shall sit on the ground."

Are we haughty?

Do we walk with outstretched necks?

Are we all about what we wear on the outside?

Do we have wanton eyes?

WANTON---adjective:

-	done, shown, used, etc., maliciously or unjustifiably: a wanton attack; wanton cruelty.

-	deliberate and without motive or provocation; uncalled-for; headstrong; willful

-without regard for what is right, just, humane, etc.; careless; reckless: a wanton attacker of religious convictions.

-	sexually lawless or unrestrained; loose; lascivious; lewd: wanton behavior.

-extravagantly or excessively luxurious, as a person, manner of living, or style.

A daughter of Sarah or a daughter of Zion.....

which one are you?

The Controlled Mother

Be gentle. That does not mean to spiritless. It means to be the opposite of violent, irritable, ill-tempered, and moody. Study to be so, for your own soul's sake, and as if you lived in God's presence, always keeping down every movement of anger, irritability, ill-temper, or moodiness. And be gentle,--precisely because you have much to do, much to bear, many cares to burden you, many things which continually try your temper.

Be low voiced. It is wonderful what effect a mother's gentle manner and low voice---when she teaches, or corrects, or praises--will have on a band of children. Take a school-room filled with very young boys or girls. Let their teacher be nervous, fidgety, and irritable; you will see all theses little ones thrown into a ferment and fever and agitation, which is nothing more than a kind of disorder which they catch from the teacher's manner. Let her be loud-voiced, teaching or speaking in loud, quick, nervous tones, and it is ten to one but you will see within a few minutes all these children will become restless, talkative, inattentive, and ungovernable. Now, let some quiet, gentle, calm-mannered and low-voiced person come in, and all the children will become quieted, will listen, and be ready to give their whole attention to what is said. And they will work steadily as long as the calm eye is on them and the gentle, low voice is directing them.

You will spare yourselves and your dear ones much trouble and much unhappiness by laying this lesson to heart. You can do what you like with them---if you are perfectly self-controlled. Besides, what a service you do them; and how they will bless their mother in afterlife for having taught them this gentleness!

Be patient--not only when you are suffering from aching limbs and head and heart, but when you do not succeed in making your dear ones all that you would wish. They will learn more than you think. They profit much more than you can see by your lessons, and especially by your example. Even should son or daughter of yours turn out to be every thing but what you trained them to be, the memory of their gentle, patient, loving mother will remain in their souls to their dying day, like a silent voice from the past bidding them return to God and to the the paths of their childhood.

Some say that steel beaten into its proper form and given a keen edge while cold, is more apt to preserve both form and edge forever. So is it with the temper your patient gentleness will impart to your children's souls. And this firmness, which is only one of the most precious dispositions of true manhood and womanhood, will be both of infinite value to them and of indispensable necessity.

-An excerpt from Daughters of Destiny by Noelle Wheeler

The Clothing of Spiritual Beauty

Dear ladies, I have a question for you....

What are your clothes saying about you?

The type of clothes I am referring to is not something you can purchase at the local mall. It is not trendy and nor is it always comfortable. You cannot find it on the finest racks at Nordstroms or even find it on clearance at any sales. The type of clothing I am referring to is your clothing of spiritual beauty.

The clothing of spiritual beauty is much more beautiful than the cashmere sweaters, the silk dress, the leather skirt, the diamond studded belt---that moth and rust can destroy, for many reasons. Our spiritual clothing is beautiful in the eyes of our Lord for He is the great designer of it---and as others see it, they will see that it is the fruit of God's work in us.

Now our spiritual clothing is exquisite and looks like this:

love
joy
peace
patience
kindness goodness
faithful
self-control
humility
strength
dignity
courage
forgiveness
meekness
steadfastness
gentleness
quiet
modest
pure
encourages others
always points to God

Very different from this kind of clothing:

loud
selfish
angry
irritated
revengeful
lustful
self-centered
greedy
discontent
slanderous
unforgiveness
bitterness
vain
hatred
jealousy
murder
malice
self-seeking
prideful
discourages others
always points to self




You can see the garments of spiritual beauty on a woman because it is very evident. Her clothing is in full view for others to see even while it is spiritual. It is seen in her conduct (how she carries herself), in her eyes, in her words and in her works. She possesses something that others do not and carries the spirit of the Lord with her. When I see these attributes in a woman it is hard not to notice. She is a rare gem and treasure that my heart desires to aspire to. I pray the Lord would help me to cultivate this type of fine spiritual clothing, though not to receive approval from man, but to be pleasing in God's sight.

The latter list of apparel is wretched. It defiles us and steals glory from God. It comes thundering in the spirit of Satan---loud, debaucherous, slanderous, and prideful. It seeks only self-gain and is quite deceptive especially to the person who wears them. It seeks to conquer, kill and destroy--much like the designer who designed it--- and yes, I said DESTROY. Not just destroy those around but the very person who wears the pseudo raiment.

And as a last word....sometimes are we not like trees that look full from afar but when you get up close they are empty? Or maybe we look like bowls of lush, fresh fruit but when you get up close we only find in dismay that is only wax? I am speaking here of authenticity. We can look like we are wearing the spiritual clothing that God has designed for us to our neighbors, on Sunday dressed in our Sunday best, at our women's Bible studies, etc., but are we sadly like the bowl of fruit that when people get closer find that we are not whom we portrayed ourselves to be?????

God's word is the final word on the matter on our authentic spiritual clothing:

"Therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." Colossians 3:12

What will you pull out of your spiritual wardrobe today?

A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

I have seen the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit and very much desire to work on this attribute in my life. I liked what Nancy Wilson shares on it:

"Some people mistakenly think that a gentle and quiet spirit is displayed when a woman never speaks. This has concerned some of the outgoing personalities because they don't know how to be a silent lump. This is merely looking at externals. Certainly sometimes a quiet spirit will be exhibited by silence, but not always. And a quiet person can be all worked up on the inside. This is missing the point. A heart that is resting in the faithfulness of God is gentle and quiet; it is not stirred up with worry and anxiety. This gentle and quiet spirit is a calm, peaceful spirit. It is a tame spirit, a gentled spirit. I have often compared this kind of spirit to a glassy lake, not turbulent or troubled, but hardly showing a ripple. In contrast, the anxious spirit is like a stormy sea with whitecaps whipping along the shore. This of course brings to mind our Lord calming the troubled Sea of Galilee. Likewise, He can calm our troubled spirits when we look to Him."

Isn't that a beautiful picture? Contrast this with the woman who is:

Loud and overbearing
Obnoxious
Wild, untamed
Angry
Bitter
Acting masculine, macho, tough
Flirting, teasing
Critical
Always gossiping
Trying to be center of attention-drawing attention to self and not God

We have all seen her. Sadly, sometimes we are her. But as we turn our hearts toward God, He begins to shape our lives to become like Him. I think that our prayer everyday needs to be focused on how we can grow these traits in our lives.

"Lord, help us to be the women you want us to be. Help to grow and cultivate that gentle and quiet spirit that you desire for us to have and to show true beauty to the world-not the counterfeit beauty that the world has to offer that fades away. May it be a light to all people so they will know who you are. Help us repent of a wrong spirit and convict us when we off course. You are mighty and we are thankful for your Mighty Hand in our lives. And we ask this in your Son's Holy name, Jesus Christ. Amen."

Raising Godly Daughters

I have three daughters whom I am trying to raise to love and serve the Lord. Whenever I find resources that help me on that journey I get excited. Today I found out that Vision Forum is now selling two new DVD's from the Botkin family regarding this important topic that is very close to my heart.

Here they are:

What is Biblical Femininity? Cultivating Sturdy Virtue In Today's Daughters



Training Dominion Oriented Daughters



Each DVD is $15. Click on the above titles for more info or to place an order.